When we first left Argentina in August 2019, we both thought that we would come back after my husband finished his master's program. However, even with the challenges that we had faced, we decided to continue our journey abroad. I do want to underline this because, even though I talk a lot about the difficulties that appear along this process, living abroad has opened my mind in more ways than I had ever imagined and this has resulted in profound personal growth.
In July 2021, my husband and I left Chicago and moved to Somerville, MA, to follow an amazing job offer he received. Leaving Chicago was very hard. In a way, we were finally feeling it was home and the community we had was stronger than ever.
Boston is a gorgeous city but, at the beginning, we found ourselves comparing everything to Chicago. A transition starts with an ending... and there is no way around that! We were feeling sad and all the phases started happening once again. I started to overthink and all the feelings of inferiority came back.
The difference in this "second round" is that I had already been through this. So it is frustrating but it is not completely new to you. It's as if your body knows how to navigate the phases... I eventually got the inner strength to make myself a general routine and start to prioritize doing things that I fully enjoy doing: yoga, dance classes, discovering new places by going to coffee shops.
I also started to study a coaching program, something that I had been wanting to do for many years. This program resonated so much with me because of how the Gestalt perspective perfectly aligned with my yoga learnings. The word Gestalt is used in modern German to mean the way a thing has been “placed,” or “put together”; it is a school of thought that looks at the human mind and behavior as a whole.
When we moved to Somerville, MA, all the phases started to happen once again but I eventually started to study coaching from a Gestalt perspective. This resonated so much for me because This theory states the importance of focusing on what the client IS doing, what comes 'naturally' to the person. Gestalt therapy rejects the role of ‘changer’ that the psychiatric and psychological establishments present because it encourages and even insists that the patient be where and what he/she is. The focus is on what the client IS doing, what comes naturally to the person.
This was an epiphany moment for me because during all of these months/years there was a part of me that felt I needed to change, to be different, that I was doing something wrong. My inner critic would tell me that I should be doing a master's as well but deep down inside I knew it didn't interest me at all that that wasn't my direction.
And yet here I was, listening to one of my teachers say: "The more one attempts to be who one is not, the more one remains the same. By fully being what one is, one can become something else."
The relief and letting go started to happen when I learnt how to embrace myself by sitting with whatever was there, whatever emotions appeared. Finally allowing myself to just be! Not easy or comfortable at all at first, but definitely not so bad as feeling so much resistance.The Gestalt theory says: “The more one attempts to be who one is not, the more one remains the same! By fully being what one is, one can become something else.” One of the most meaningful learnings that stay with me from my yoga teacher training is "Pain + resistance = Suffering".
Relief started to appear when I let go of that resistance, of trying to be someone I wasn’t.
Comments